Your new motto must be – “Judge no one …”

They say – Seeing is believing. We end up believing what we see to be true. But these days, we have a new discovery that we have made and are following, apart from seeing and believing and that is – pass judgements on people. When you don’t see people doing things normally, as per “society norms” – give them a label or a tag, give your commentary or give your judgement on their lives, decisions and on them as a human beings. These new breed of people are called – “judgmental people”.

Have we ever thought why sometimes people’s lives are different and not normal to how everyone lives. Without knowing the reality, their side of story and truth, we end up destroying their inner peace, question their sanctity by passing judgements on them, labelling them and making them more ashamed and least respected.

I was watching a reality show the other day, where the host shared a participant’s video on his life. This contestant was a mediocre garment factory quality control officer who was married for 5 years but his wife lived in another city working as a radio jockey, something she was always passionate about doing. He shared how they meet up for only few days or a month in the whole year. He shared the real reason behind this distance – of how financial situations at home, a home loan of 18 lakh rupees and an ailing father’s medical treatments forced them to work on their jobs harder to earn and support their family. While sharing on how they had to choose family responsibilities over love, he mentioned how his neighbours, friends, relatives judged their relationship and criticised them saying that they were not compatible which is why they are living separately or because they have extra marital affairs etc. It was disheartening to see how the couple became emotional sharing the trauma they faced because of societal judgments and how hard they are trying to be there for each other inspite of the distance.

How easily we pass our opinions and judgments without knowing the person’s struggles and stories. People should individually understand that we should not be judging and disappointing people basis the choices they make, because we do not know what choices they had that they ended up with such decisions.

Judgemental people are everywhere. You come across a new person, relative, friend, colleague – you begin to share your experiences with them and they begin to judge you on your choices, your opinions, your decisions and on your life. Just because you had an arranged marriage, doesn’t mean someone in love is an outcast or is sinful, you may have a corporate job but just because someone is following their passion you can’t judge them. A woman having a corporate job is not acceptable – how could you judge that?.

My friend shared her experience of visiting a relative for lunch at their place. It was not a happy experience she thought it would be. The kind of questions her aunt put her through made her very uncomfortable that my friend’s whole purpose of just going there to get along, create a bond seemed utter waste. Her aunt asked her questions like , “how long have you been working?” When she said , “5 years” – immediately her age was calculated and another question hit her straight – “why aren’t you getting married?. You should have been settled by now”. When she put her point of view of how she’s supporting her parents, her daily routine was questioned. She was immediately judged that she’s not settling which means she’s enjoying her freedom. Weekends would go hanging out with friends, shopping, wear dresses, go out alone etc. Poor my friend! She is very sensitive and when she was judged like this, she felt really bad. She didn’t fight back to tell them how she handles home and office, supports her parents financially, how she spends her weekends getting groceries,veggies, medicines, cooking with her mother that she doesn’t get time for herself. Let alone meet me – her best friend. For a girl to take this humiliation of her own life was not right. She didn’t deserve this. And my friend never answered back her aunt, as elders these days term it as “disrespectful” if we respond back saying “aunty, you’re wrong”. She queitly took the humiliation but I’m sure she was fighting in her mind that she was taken all wrong.

When a girl is not getting married post 25, that does not give people the liberty to question her intentions, her sanctity/virginity or her freedom. She might not be ‘enjoying’ as you think but she could be keeping her family responsibilities ahead of her own self, that no one sees and respects. Her parents might need her most which is why she is juggling home office and supporting them, giving them much time to make them feel wanted. For my friend, her parents are her children. She does every little bit of support she can. I’m proud of the woman she is and I look up to it. If sons can be independent, work, support their families why not women?. My friend is the only daughter to her family and is supporting her family with all she could. She’s being the ‘man of the house’ herself. Don’t judge her struggles that you don’t see and break her this way

There are some questions you should ask yourself – do you think their judgments are worthy enough for you to focus and lament on them ?? Do you think you should explain your stand to them and they will understand and change their opinions? Do you think they will ever have a heart to see your side and sympathise?. The answer is a straight “No”. These days we need to base our lives less on people’s opinions and more on our truths and strengths. Remember – Those who judge will never understand and those who understand will never judge you. You do not have to accept people’s opinions/comments , they do not know the truth, and they have no right of interference or even to pass judgments.

There’s a story behind every person, there’s a reason why they are the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone. Small things to remember before you go through such judgments and when you think of passing one for others –

1. When someone shares something with you, support sympathise or choose a right way to guide them but please do not judge them.

2. Your point of views could be stronger than others. Hold on to them until asked. Do not term or label people or boast your views just because you want to show your stand. Sometimes it’s unnecessary to be doing the boasting.

3. Before you pass comments or your judgments, think how the other person would feel if you said it. Put your feet in their shoes and see how you would’ve felt if you were put through it.

4. Choose to remain silent till you know the entire truth of your friend/colleague. He/she may just tell you something but as soon as you comment, they might just refrain from sharing anything with you. These are the reasons people go under depression, suicide, kill themselves all because they don’t have someone who could hear them out nor support them. Just because you label them or comment, these people hide in their nutshell and weep. When you don’t see their pain, don’t comment on their happiness at least.

5. For those who get easily hurt by people’s opinions, remember what matters to you the most – your struggles, your wins in life and the way you are living your life or the numerous not-so-good opinions people gave to whatever you told them. Remember – you do good or you do bad, people always have something to say. Thousand mouths will give you thousand opinions. You cannot keep abiding and accepting everything.

6. If you really want to share something, write it down. Have a journal where you could record your wins, Victories, your learnings. The joy in writing and reading them today or years later will definitely be the best thing you could do. This is one of my ways too of being happy with myself – people will judge you for your wins, but your journal will not :).

This is the icing on the cake – The happiest people are evaluating and improving themselves. The unhappy people are judging and evaluating others. When you judge another, you are not defining them, you are defining yourself!

Choose wisely :). Spread Love – Love is lack of being judgmental!!

Let it go – Live a life of no regrets!

Life is short , they say – make the most of it. But somewhere we are all stranded on all temporary situations, troubles, arguments, misunderstandings that don’t last forever.

From worrying about future to not being happy with our jobs/salary, tensed for promotions to holding age old grudges for long. Life needs to move on for good.

Thinking of incidences of my life, I’ve had situations in my college, where I did not like this group of friends and everything I did, I was tagged as “attention seeker”. For me friendship did not mean seeking attention. Just that the value or worthiness I deserved did not come to me. So I chose not to meet these friends, nor get along. It’s now 5 years since college time I’m still not in touch with any of them and those incidences still make me feel inferior.

I remember more instances of how some bitter situations make you lose your friends/loved ones etc even your parents for that matter. Something that you do as a kid, is edged so much in the parents’ minds that they abandon the kids, break ties with them and everything seems to be over for all the wrong reasons. My relative’s son fell to wrong company in his 20s and got addicted to alcohol and drugs but now at age of 32 when he has come a long way of being strong, able to maintain good physique, have a job of his own, when he has begun to take responsibilities, his father still disowns him. It seems like your mistakes define you. That should never be the case. The repercussions that occur because of this are a lifelong regret of lost relationship, lost love and sheer waste of time. Even in family crisis times I noticed that bond missing, was very heartless to see this.

What could be the reasons for loss of relationships, unnecessary arguments, misunderstandings?? It is our anger! When you are angry, you say things you are not supposed to be saying, do things that could lead to worst case scenarios. Your mind is not in the right state then and neither you are aware of the repercussions that could take place because of what you do in anger. The result of it all ends on a very sour note – you have lost your respect, your relationships are affected, you fall down in your own eyes and no amount of regret, guilt will rectify what you have done or said. Take the case of murderers, the act done in angst cannot rectify their sins nor bring the dead back to life.

But every question has an answer, every trouble has a solution – The best solution being to let go off your grudges, those bad times, those misunderstandings and your anger. It is so important for you to talk to people to get all your feelings heard. We are all humans, we need to understand that unless we express we cannot expect the other person to know our feelings for them. Be it gratitude, care, respect etc. We need to be open enough to apologise, speak out of what we felt at that moment, what you regret about that incident and how you want to start on a fresh note all over again. It is that simple. Holding onto sour notes do no good to you nor the other person.

The biggest secret to avoid getting into the bad situations is the 90/10 principle. The 90/10 Principle was popularized by Stephen Covey, the amazing author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It states that: 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, and 90% of life is decided by how you react. It is that simple!! Here’s the main catch. You cannot control the events that happen in your life but you can definitely control how you could react on it. It is all in you :).

Learn to be forgiving and learn to forget. Do not let your ego get to your relationships. We all end up dying some day and when you’re gone, is when people feel the sympathy, the big guilt of not forgiving him or her and that remains throughout your life. What you take back while you leave this world is love , respect and prayers. Your ego, your anger, your hatred, your rough attitude will all fall to dust someday. Nothing lasts – even you don’t. But fond memories should be cherished with the time that the Almighty has given you.

I can definitely relate to the Frozen movie’s famous song – Let it go. It’s very powerful when Elsa the protagonist sings – ‘Let it go. Don’t hold back anymore’ Try incorporating the same and see how life changes for you and your loved ones. I have learnt since childhood and even from today’s kids – when you fight for small issues, next day you are normal friends again. Why can’t we have the same thought process as adults?.

Let’s do some little efforts to get rid or at least avoid our angry outbursts and trust me, little control on our temporary outbursts can save us from big disasters –

1. Every time something said by someone instigates you, always think – what they said will really matter in the next 5 years?. If it doesn’t then it should not even matter in the next 5 minutes.

2. Every time you feel angry, close your eyes , fold your fists and count backwards from 10 to 1 This way you will realize the reverse action in your mindset.

3. Take time out – time out is not just for kids, you could take time out too. Take a break, do not let the stress get to your head and later to your loved ones. They long for your love, give them. They don’t deserve your anger of course :).

4. Physical exercise – Exercises help not only to keep your body fit but your mind as well. And that is a scientifically proven fact!. Do a brisk walk in the mornings, or stretches, push ups or jogging. The goodness you feel when your heartbeat raises is a real great feeling. Your mind also gets healthy in this process.

5. Relaxation – Meditation and yoga are really good exercises for the mind to help you analyse, keep calm and refresh your mind with good breathing and some alone time.

Remember, the value of your relationships are much more higher than your anger, your ego. It is important to learn to forgive and forget and take life in our stride and create long lasting bondings and impressions.

The little toffees of life!!

Toffees – once upon a Time our favorite! At times no barrier of age so we still love them. The joy on a child’s face on seeing/getting toffees/chocolates is priceless. Some like to keep more toffees with them to enjoy the taste later and some like to share them with their loved ones to make them happy. Sometimes you share them out of happy occasions, sometimes you don’t need an excuse of an occasion to share this happiness wrapped in little crisp covers.

Life also has some toffees too that it offers you – have you grabbed some?. Now if you’re wondering what toffees or chocolates I’m referring to – read along to know if you have grabbed these toffees that were offered to you or you just saw them being taken by others with immense happiness.

1. The Gratitude Toffee – How often are we thankful for the things that happen around us. For the shelter, food, clothes we have, for the new day we wake up to etc. A “thank you” is a magical toffee. Something when given, you attract more joy to your life and when someone receives this toffee it is definitely a sign of joy and contentment to his life. I have seen the joy of both these parties – The giver and the taker. Once at office, my lil effort helped save a colleague’s time and work and made her work easier for that day. My effort was unintentional, only focusing on ensuring there is no delay in deliverables. In turn it turned out to be a saving grace for her. While at office, she came up to me and thanked me for the unintentional help I did to assist her in her work. That thank you moved me. When someone’s effort is acknowledged with beautiful words like a ‘thank you’ it definitely makes you feel worth it. A thank you to the cab driver for dropping you home/office, or the delivery boy who brought your food at your doorstep, the courier guy getting your many orders like the modern day santa etc. They all deserve a thank you. Try giving this toffee to someone, the joy is matchless :). Makes you do more.

2. The Respect and Understanding Toffee – “Give respect and take respect,” seems an ancient saying now but we definitely need to lay out these rules to ourselves. Be it our parents, grandparents, elders etc. Our anger, irritation etc should be controlled because we need to understand their side too before we jump to conclusions. How many times have you vented the day’s anger on your family members at home. Does it do you any good ?? Not really. We should never take our elders for granted. Always show them respect that they deserve and understand their needs because when we needed them, they did everything for us even without asking. They were our “genies” , our wish fulfillers.

3. ‘Keep the passion alive’ toffee – This toffee is mostly hidden in your pocket (mind and heart actually). This is your favorite toffee, which you always own but never enjoy eating it. This toffee is the one that gives you life, but you are stuck in the daily life grinding that this Toffee is never taken out or eaten. Your hobbies, your passions – be it art, crafts, acting, dancing etc we don’t end up showing interest in these ever as we are caught up in our daily life activities. I’m happy to share that the joyous passions I always had were poetry and story telling and I’m proud and happy that I’m pursuing these in all my small moments that give me immense happiness after a hectic day at work. Trust me, working on your passion gives you joy unmatched. You are given one life – why waste in the daily grind – learn to enjoy it :).

4. Toffee of giving/gifting – We share toffees with everybody, and the joy on their faces is the sweetest. Have you tried gifting or sharing with those who are less fortunate than us??. The value of a thing is best known when you don’t have it with you – this is the same feeling with the less fortunate ones. They value clothes, shelter, food when they are too poor or unfortunate to not have it. Try going to an orphanage or old age home and share your toys, clothes that you have kept at your homes unused. See the happiness the kids/elderly feel once they get it from you – the joy upon receiving is their gratitude to you – It is your return gift :).

5. ‘Let it go’ toffee – This toffee is something you don’t really share with others but are holding on to it for no benefits. Life is too short to be regretful, where you hold on to your mistakes or issues/misunderstandings and lose out on precious times of love and togetherness. It is high time you let go off these minor grudges, issues, regrets to live a life tension free.

To sum this up – just want to share this story I heard in my school, where my teacher said we all have an imaginary crown on our heads. For every good deed you do, you have a shining diamond added to the crown and when you do a bad deed – your crown is ripped off that diamond and a black stone is added. With this story, my main aim is to keep the joy and good deeds going and share the toffees of gratitude, respect and understanding. What crown do you want to wear?? The shining one or the black one.

Ice breaker – The color of my wings!

The blogger should get a chance to have an ice breaker on her webpage. So here I am, adding my life story in my poetic way – that I had an opportunity to present at a platform. Enjoy the story 🙂 (PS – Your own life could be an inspiration too 😉 )

Ah! How excited I am to share with you my short life story,

Let’s do a little twist and bring in the complex science category.

Oops! Don’t worry, I won’t start a lecture that amplifies your pain,

Instead, I will present my life story portrayed to the butterfly lifechain.

The life of a butterfly has stages of just four,

I’m all geared up as I take you along these like a tour.

The first stage of birth was a real struggle of arrival,

Baby girl I was – not allowed to be born or live for survival.

Welcomed to the world by all, but faced rejection from dad,

He was adamant not to allow me home – that made us all sad.

Trying all ways to abandon or sell me off to a nurse or a businessman,

But my mother and brother struggled yet accepted me as a part of their clan.

Three months later, this egged me began to make way to my dad’s heart,

While I was left alone with him at home, my wailing and crying worked liked art.

He held me in his arms and regretted his heartless treatment to me,

Since then, there was no stopping to endless fatherly love and glee.

The next stage of caterpillar was definitely my childhood,

Never that slow – but in all fields at school I grew and outstood.

From studies to plays, from dance performances to debates,

My love for stage always put me on a high like roller skates.

During my teenage, words became my best of friends.

Writing my day account in diaries and attempting poetry became hot trends.

The 90s kid I was – indipop songs and TV shows were my favourite,

Playing Galli cricket and watching Shah Rukh Khan romance were quirky and ultimate.

Suddenly at the third stage of pupa, I rolled back to my cocoon.

My college life was all meek,clueless and crazy like a baboon.

From projects to golgappas to special classes – life had hit the point of saturation,

Looking for a silver lining, was hoping for a major transformation.

Then my final year – turned out a perfect timing for the best,

Finally I felt moving out of my cocoon with burning zest.

Gifted my family and myself a corporate job straight out of college,

Taking up responsibilities, came to me so easily I acknowledged.

IMG-20181007-WA0055

My big final stage of butterfly set in with a big chance,

Life in New York it was through office – that definitely called for a dance.

For a girl, who’d never been to Mysore was 8000 miles apart,

She knew not that this trip was going to be life changing from the start.

Never was she away from her family, there she lived alone,

Homesick at first – she then embraced her little flat as home of her own.

Cooking food straight out of mom’s written recipes made her ecstatic,

Office to home,the evening tea, household chores – all done systematic.

She explored new places, capturing moments of her new found freedom,

Life’s best experiences like these are preciously rare and seldom.

Four months later back home she was all different in her tone,

Confident, independent, bold – totally out of her comfort zone.

The colours of multi tasking, handling home and office outshined her wings,

She treasures family,friends, relationships and finds joys in small things.

Life is not about age but living it worthy enough to share,

What you contribute to the world before you die, is all I really care.

I aim to touch lives in all ways to motivate and inspire,

It’s important to dedicate and get perfect to keep that burning fire.

I hope the wings of this butterfly flapped high on your minds,

I now draw curtains to my short story with imaginary blinds.

– Zeba Abdulla

Life’time’ – make the best of it before it’s gone!

Life definitely gives you jolts you never would even think of, in your wildest dreams. I cannot believe the ironic situation that my life put me through – where on one side I published my blog on road accidents to create awareness, and just the next day I lost my first cousin, aged 38 to a bike accident in Malaysia.

It’s hard to believe at this irony of life – My family and I are yet to come to terms of his loss. It’s still hard to believe that he has left us but when I look back at his life who’s lifespan – roughly 4 decades (short of 2 years to 40) was definitely a rewarding and challenging one🙌such that I always looked upto him for his wonderful attitude towards life irrespective of any situation.

Asif Ahmed, my brother from another mother – my first cousin. Born in 1980, he was adored by his parents, grandparents and even his neighbours. He was a child who was loved by all, nurtured and cared for, by all. In a small town in Bangalore, he spent his childhood in little streets running from one neighbouring home to another, chattering with all the naughtiness and fun. This way he became an internal part of so many lives that even during his death, all of them came over to pay their last respects. For the little boy who loved to play hide and seek with his cousins and aunts to scare them, now has really hidden in the Almighty’s shadow that we cannot even find him for real.

As a brother, he was more than blood relation, he was more a friend who loved to be in touch, discuss how life is going, he was always helpful and caring to each one he met,be it the elderly, the middle aged or us youngsters. He loved bodybuilding and had complete dedication to maintaining fitness, such that he never compromised on his healthy diet any day. Protein shakes were not even popular in the millenium then, his diet was simply more on greens, eggs and fruits on regular basis. Someone who loved to maintain his body, was always popular among his aunts and youngsters like us. He was a hero to us all – he also looked like Salman Khan of the 90s to me because of his face cut, the smile, hair, biceps, body etc.

When it came to family responsibilities, he was a pro – a loving son, a caring brother who was always pampered even when he was in his 30s. But his pampering wasn’t for money or hanging out with friends, instead it was for his mother to feed him lunch or dinner with her own hands, put him to sleep, get a massage from her during the days he had a bad backache. This was how he was pampered.

When his mother passed away in 2012 due to a heart attack, he was very shattered. He himself needed so much strength at that time that he still stood like a rock to his family. His eldest sister, who considered him her baby brother, was broken at their mother’s loss. But there Asif bhai stood holding her tight, when she cried she rested her head on him – Both stood in unity in front of my aunt’s body. It looked like he never would leave his sister alone , and he didn’t till his last breath. His love for his mom was so dear that he kept adoring her face for those last moments before we all bid her goodbye. This scene was so close to my heart that it’s hard to believe I saw my favourite aunt and my brother, Asif bhai leave the world so early in front of us.

2 years before my aunt passed, my uncle (his father) ran into a financial crisis. My aunt was also terrified with this problem and how people troubled them asking them to repay by threatening them at their home. Both of them did not share this with their children as they didn’t want them to face what they were undergoing.

Post my aunt’s death when Asif bhai was informed of the financial situation and loans, he remained calm and sensible. He took it up on himself, assured every person who had lent to my aunt-uncle of repayment, and in a year’s time he repaid everyone’s loans and even withdrew my mom’s jewelry that aunt had borrowed for want of cash. Such a responsible son he was who didn’t fret even once but took it up on him to help his father get rid of the burden.

Within a short span, we saw him touch the skies of victory – he was lucky to get settled in countries like Phillipines and Malaysia – working with big companies, well settled with his own home and good life. At the same time his passion for bikes, speed grew there and owning the best bikes became reality. He rode them with great enthusiasm, maintained them like they were his kids and before every ride he had his trademark style of a thumbs up. His last moments also had the same trademark – just that it did not last.

His accident turned out to be the worst for us. A usual Sunday, his routine riding schedule but this was his last. On the grand prix road of Malaysia, his bike lost control due to traffic ahead and hit a car, with the force he flew in the air and landed badly on his back at a far distance. His rib broke and one of the bone pierced his organs that led to severe internal bleeding. Upon being asked by his friends and cops if he was alright, he showed his thumbs up, but that was the last. On the way to the hospital, he succumbed to the internal bleeding. With him, his BMW bike also burnt – his death was a death of his passion too!

For us it was losing a gem of a person, who loved us immensely and we loved him too. We remembered his everlasting smile, never had we seen him worried or angry or even badmouthing somebody. His trademark style of meeting us was his hand on our shoulders and that smile, it expressed his joy of seeing us. We were as joyous looking at his vibrant attitude. His facebook photos with friends, colleagues, relatives or his bikes (his family members almost) – has that beautiful smile that could bring sunshine to anybody’s day. Never thought I would be reading his condolence messages put up by his friends with his pictures – he definitely was loved and respected by all ages.

When his body was arriving from Malaysia we were restlessly waiting to see him, but that was for the last time. People came in large numbers, this showed how much he was loved by all and how he touched each one’s life with so much love and happiness. Someone who comes home happily with a surprise and the golden smile, came home this time in a coffin, in deep sleep. Everybody wept for him. His life made us smile and his death really broke us. When his body was being taken to the burial ground, it looked to me like he was waving to all of us with his sweet smile, his coffin covered with flowers – his life was definitely full of colors and fragrance.

At his death, he was lucky enough to be buried at his mother’s feet (the place which my uncle reserved for his body) eventually went over to his son. That’s how hurtful he was to be burying his son this way.

Asif bhai’s life was an epitome of joy and passion. I learnt that life is short, unpredictable. Life is too small to fight over money property religion, wasting time complaining, sticking to negativity etc. Life is all about happiness, spreading joys, doing things you love with passion, spreading love, treating problems as challenges and walking out victoriously, achieving goals that make you happy and not losing even a moment to smile, share, care, love all and pray for all and live like you never get this opportunity again.

We love you Asif Bhai, This is my dedication to you – thank you for setting such a great example of your life to us. Your Charming smile lives on with us forever!

Road accidents – Your duty call to action!

In India, a lot has been developing in terms of economy and growth aspects. Inflation and petrol prices are rising along the lines of a rise in road accidents – thanks to many factors like bad roads, rash driving, non adherence to traffic rules etc. Analysis shows that the distribution of road accidental deaths and injuries in India varies according to age, gender, month and time. Age group 30-59 years is the most vulnerable population group, though males face higher level of fatalities and injuries than their female counterparts. Moreover, road accidents are relatively higher in extreme weather and during working hours.

Personally I have witnessed a couple of road accidents and also been a part of two (due to mistakes of the other party, as my cautious approach did not work even then) , it has definitely taught me lessons everytime I have witnessed or been a part of it.

While I was riding my bike on a not so busy road, I did not expect what was coming – in seconds I was on the road on one side with my bike on the other – all thanks to the swiftness with which the guy who had his car parked on the left swung open the door without any signs of caution. For that minute I was clueless of how I landed on the road and my favourite red bike opposite me fallen like me. I hit my head badly in this process and was also shivering. My next thoughts were how do I get home – what really helped me calm down was the nature of the people around me. I remember there was an auto driver, some passersby who helped me stand , took my bike parked it aside handed me the key and also took me to the nearest hospital. My mother was also called. All this happened in minutes and I am very grateful for the quick presence of mind that people showed. Being a victim, I realised it is so important for us to be cautious, get help from people around, be safe and get medication at the earliest before things get worse. I learnt a lot from the humanitarian aid and assistance that people showed at that time of the accident.

On the other hand, when I was a part of the public witnessing an accident – I was moved immensely. While waiting at a signal, I noticed two buses impatiently waiting to race against each other. Between them were a few motorists who were also waiting to get ahead. When the signal went green, one bus managed to get ahead, the motorists made their way but unfortunately one aged man riding his pulsar lost his balance and fell. The driver of the second bus had to wait till he could regain balance , instead he ran over his foot and bike that got stuck under the bus. It cut his foot badly and people screamed at the driver to stop. I just couldn’t see that state. My friend and I rushed to help him along with other motorists. His foot was bleeding profusely as it was cut , we gave him a shoulder to stand, called an auto quickly and by luck a traffic cop also around took him to the hospital. That bloodshed on the road shook my soul I felt. Thankfully it was his foot run over, if it was him it would’ve been so painful.

The attitude and spontaneity of the public, the promptness to help forgetting your own needs, giving support in any manner – be it helping him stand or putting a handkerchief around his leg to stop the bleeding or shouting out to get an auto to take him to hospital – all this happened in minutes and I learnt a lot from the kind hearted people during that time. Had the people been busy badmouthing the driver and not attending to this aged man, precious time to save him would’ve been lost. I was touched by how people (in both scenarios) did not think of their time, their needs, how the victim they were helping were related to them or not – they just selflessly came over and helped with everything they could.

For me personally too it hurts when I see someone meeting with an accident because of another’s mistakes, you are crying for help and people are just mute spectators to it. When I see a crowd around an accident victim and I’m just passing by , I feel the guilt of not being able to help but I pray that the people around him/her help them with the best so they are out of pain, get the right medical aid and get home safe. That victim could be someone’s son/daughter, husband/wife, brother/sister or even the sole breadwinner for their family.

As road accidents have increased, it is a warning to humanity to step up and take charge, be responsible, be a human first and spectators later. A real big lesson for us to learn to be responsibls, selfless and help, during the times when people prefer creating awareness by shooting videos of bleeding accident victims shouting for help rather than doing their bit of help themselves by taking them to the hospital. I am sure when we think of our own loved ones in this state, we definitely would not think of shooting videos of them crying for help, in blood and pain.

The act of kindness and quick presence of mind that people show is definitely worth a salute and learning for each of us. We don’t win a prize, earn cash rewards or be applauded at that moment for portraying this attitude but in your own eyes, you could definitely be a hero :). Saving a life in the nick of time is the key :).

We should really ensure to be careful by following the below rules –

a) Always carry your ID card or details with your house address, emergency contact number, blood group etc.

b) Always wear a helmet while riding and seatbelt while your driving.

c) When you witness an accident, please help the victim by calling the ambulance number – 1098 and the police at 100.

d) Under the influence of alcohol, please do not drive – you could risk your life or someone else’s life you never know.

Leave early, drive slowly and reach safely.

Be safe and be a responsible human first :).

Small efforts – immense happiness!

We always weigh life events to be big or small in terms of deriving happiness out of it. Small incidents also are as important as the big ones.
I have always felt the importance of doing little things that bring immense happiness. We always wait for bigger events in life like passing in exams, getting a job, getting into a new school, entry of a new family member, birthdays, anniversaries etc to celebrate. But have you ever thought little incidents that happen on a daily basis can also be celebrated?

I have my perspective of looking at daily life incidences, finding joys in smallest courses of action we take on a daily basis – little victories as I like to call and acknowledge 🙂

a) When I get home taking mom’s favourite snacks or If I order her favourite pizza she’s happy. This small happiness of hers helps me get rid of my day’s stress.

b) My colleague had a hard day and was stressed out by end of the evening. She had a hard time working on a client that she had to stretch till late. I wanted to be of some help to her and to ease her stress I made her a hot chocolate drink ( her favourite) hoping it would release her stress and help her close for the day soon.

c) A passerby asked for an address and when I guided him – showing the way to the lost (feels like it) 🙂

d) I helped my cab driver take the short cut route to drop us all home, I got very excited. It eased his job of dropping us on time and getting home early gave us enough happiness ;).

e) When I get home and mom has made my favourite dosas for dinner – I am so excited like a child.

f) An old man slipped on the stairs and you quickly give him support. You really saved him from any sort of pain.

g) When you see a pregnant lady enter the bus , you get up and offer her your seat – that’s small yet gives you a happy feeling :).

h) While at a signal, you see a lil kid all sad staring out of his car window and you look at him, pop your eyes make funny faces and after a long stare , you see his teeth when he gives that grin. Small joys :).

I) A stranger new to a city would need help with directions or getting auto/cab or guiding the driver and you offer to help him as you are familiar with the language. Makes that person’s day anytime :).

j) Your colleague is wearing a pretty dress or has got a new haircut. Complimenting her would make her day definitely no doubt :).

There’s so much negativity in this world that such little instances of small efforts to bring that colorful rainbow on a daily basis definitely adds a beautiful meaning to your life and living :). Try coming out of the boring monotonous daily grind and look at incidences that have made you smile or you have brought a smile on someone else’s face :).